Living with a snorer who won’t treat their problem is frustrating. Show this A-Z to the snorer in your life and let them know what you go through each night!
A – Alarm
A thing of the past. It’s completely redundant as you’ve been awake all night anyway.
B – Bedtime blues
That feeling you get as you climb in to bed, knowing that a good night’s sleep is a mere fantasy.
C – Couch
Sure the couch isn’t as comfy as your bed. But at least you don’t have to share it with a hibernating bear.
D – Denial
The stage your partner seems stuck in. Them? A snorer? Never!
E – Ear plugs
The industrial strength ones they use on airfields. They can block out a low flying plane, but not your partner.
F – F words
You are normally polite and well-mannered. But after the 5th time being woken up, you go from Queen Elizabeth to Brian Blessed in an instant.
G – Groundhog Day
If your life was a film, this would be it. The same thing every night. But without Bill Murray.
H – Herbal tea
Aromatherapy, meditation, counting sheep. Nothing will help you fall asleep before snore o’clock.
I – Insane rage
You’re pretty sure you loved your partner before you went to bed. But the red mist has descended and are on the verge of filing for divorce at 2am.
J – Jealousy
You are jealous of your single friends who get to sleep alone. Jealous of the man opposite you on the train who sleeps in his seat. Jealous of your partner snoring away.
K – Kick, elbow, pinch, repeat.
Your nightly choreographed routine for trying to stop your partner snoring.
L – “Light sleeper”
Oh, gosh! How silly of you! It’s not your partner’s snoring that’s the problem, it’s that you’re a light sleeper.
M – Marriage
That silly contract you entered in to before you realised your partner moonlighted as a bulldozer.
N – Naps
You’re pretty sure they’re the only reason you can function right now. That, and caffeine.
O – Orthopedic mattress
The one you spent £300 on, thinking it would give you a good night’s sleep. Not doing much when you’re sleeping on the sofa.
P – Pillows
What you once saw as a comfortable place to lay your head now seems more appealing as a weapon to suffocate your partner with.
Q – Quiet
The blissful split second between snores when you try to kid yourself that the snoring has stopped.
R – Real life
That thing you’re so tired you’ve completely lost touch with. Is that ketchup on your shirt? Did you forget your dentist appointment? Who even cares?
S – Spooning
What other couples do; something you couldn’t even dream of, for fear of a burst ear drum.
T – Torture
Did you know sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture?
U – Undead
Looking like an extra from The Walking Dead has become the norm. And you’re past the point of caring.
V – Video evidence
The only way to prove to your partner that they snore. And they will still find a way to deny it.
W – Wine
Lots and lots of wine. Surely there is no other way to successfully fall asleep next to a snorer than to pass out drunk?
Exactly what your partner is going to become if they do not SHUT UP. Your ex.
Y – “Yes boss, I WILL work that night shift”
Just so you can sleep in the day when your partner isn’t home.
Z – Zzz
The noise you wish you were making, but fear you may never, ever make again.